Writting while I'm down

I'm home with food poisoning :( so I'm updating while I'm lying here. I also wrote a new review, and have moved on to another book. Although I seem to be having trouble getting through this one, so it may be a while before I get around to reviewing it. I've had a couple of things that have been bothering me lately and I just feel like letting it out. They are completely random, but here goes.

I'm sorry. This phrase has been bothering me. Matt has a habit of throwing trash out the car window. He did it yesterday and my mother yelled at him for it. Matt responded with sorry and my mother stated that he always says that when he gets in trouble for throwing trash out of the car window. She then proceeded to explain that saying sorry means you'll never do it again. This made me think of how often you hear these words. When bumping into someone, what happens? One or both of you turn around, mumble "I'm sorry" and go about your business. What about when a child does something wrong and are told they need to apologize? They either say it under their breath, or say it in that forced way very quickly. What's the point. Parents do it even when kids are older. I do the fake sorry at work. When someone complains to me about something that I have no control over I pull the time old "oh I'm sorry". I just don't get it. I would rather someone not say anything at all, then be mocked by someone who was told to apologize and not really mean it. I feel that sorry is a word that is thrown around too often. Personally I would like more sorries to be shown through acts of love and grace, not just thrown out as if thew word can just fix any problem and make all things okay. I also feel that because the word is treated so magicaly, it causes more problems. Sometimes things happen that really upset me. Being told by the person that caused it does not always make you feel better. The problem is society looks down upon those who verbilize this. They use the "he/she said they were sorry, what more do you want?". It's not so much a matter of wanting more, but more the fact that sorry is not a magic word and saying it doesn't mean you really feel that way and want or need forgivness. I know the bible teaches us to forgive, but sometimes it's hard to forgive when you don't feel the person cares about your forgiveness.

My next rambling is a long story. I have been going through a sort of religion rebirth I guess is what you could call it. Everyone else in my family just calls it an obsession. It's actually quite upsetting that they make fun of me for wanting to expand my knowledge and understanding of the world and of God, but that's another story. My newest obsession is with headcoveriongs and a woman's place in the world. I have been reading a lot about people who cover/want to cover/want to understand it, etc. I have decided to write a letter to my pastor because I continue to read the same arguments. One that I always see is that was a different time, or that's a different culture. Why should that matter? We find it terrible that other cultures make women cover their bodies, but if I were to come over to your house naked claiming that I didn't need clothing because modesty is old, or not part of our culture you wouldn't be okay with that, or buy my excuse. If I were to tell you that a women belongs in a kitchen you would freak, but if a commercial featured a man at home doing domestic work, you wouldn't connect with it. Why does something being old make it need to change. Killing people is wrong according to the bible, so does that mean I can kill someone and claim we don't need to follow that because it's old? Why are we allowed to live by rules about kindness and forgiveness, but everything else has to change with time? To be honest I find that in this day and age being confrontational and on edge is easier, but it is still wrong?? I just don't understand why we can pick and choose what rules we follow. You don't do that with your parents, or laws, or belief es of your country, so at what point does it become okay? America prides itself on being diverse, yet we squash any ideas or beliefs that are different or hard to follow stating that it is cultural, or that the country is wrong in their beliefs. America also wants to establish AMERICA. A general stereotype of the culture and people, yet we are always changing so as not to offend others. Any thoughts. It has been driving me insane!